I want to help you release your fear of feeling powerless and embrace the freedom that comes with it.
This may be a bit of a tricky post to read. Some people may even feel triggered when realising that what they are feeling or how they are behaving is actually down to feeling powerless.
What does it actually mean to feel powerless?
Well, it’s feeling like you have no control or influence over a situation. It’s being constantly bothered by overwhelming feelings of helplessness and inadequacies.
And how can feeling powerless manifest itself day-to-day?
Doing these things because you want to feel in control of situations or other people can actually lead to being caught in the cycle of unhealthy power struggles.
Not realising it at the time, but these behaviors are doing us way more harm than good.
We let money give us a false sense of power and security.
Letting the brand of our company, our job title, size of our business or the amount of properties we own guide the level of our confidence and success.
Allowing the opinions, validations and compliments of others inflate or deflate our ego.
But, just like a building with shaky foundations will eventually fall down, so will this false sense of power you receive from all the external and material possessions that you have.
Most of us spend a great deal of our time struggling in vain, to sort out one conflict or another:
Part of our ever-developing plan to “win” these wars requires us to acquire new powers, powers that we imagine will give us the ability to end our suffering once and for all.
The problem with continuously chasing power, a new high or a new skill to resolve those conflicts is that you’ll continue to surround yourself with new fears and new sets of problems.
No wonder if you feel exhausted. But here’s a way more empowering though to hang onto closely. Only YOU can break this endless cycle.
It’s in our nature to try to seek power from outside sources, hoping they will free us from feeling powerless in the face of what pains us.
In truth, we have no idea just how powerful we are!
If you think about it, every spiritual lesson and even something as seemingly simple as meditation asks us to look WITHIN, to go INWARDS.
The whole purpose of meditating, chanting or even using psychedelics for healing is to be able to realise:
By doing this, we can truly finally accept that we are a part of the source consciousness, so naturally we have the SAME amount of power as our source/creator/god.
As soon as we start to understand this concept and switch our mindset from seeking external validation to holding space for all our thoughts, feelings and emotions, we can understand better that we are whole and complete just as we are. All those other external circumstances will start to lose their power over us.
By taking back our power, acknowledging that we alone have authority over our negative reactions like:
And I, for one, am certainly ready to let those things go for good. Only then will we stop feeling the need to control or manipulate other people, situations or conditions outside of us.
Take a moment to think about this. Have you ever sought out external validation from someone else when you’ve been feeling a little under-confident?
I know I have!
Imagine these scenarios. We’ve all been there! We’re all guilty of saying some really horrible things to ourselves at times, right?
“I’m sorry, I’m really slow at this.”
“Really?! Nooo, I’m not that good.”
“Wow. I can’t believe he actually likes me.”
Whether it’s in your relationships or in your career, we verbalise these negative perceptions of ourselves, in the hope that the people around us will step in and say something nice to counteract it. We yearn for validation and approval from others. If we say something unkind to ourselves, we really sitting there hoping that we’ll be met with a reply like:
“Oh don’t be silly! You’re doing great!”
“You’re being modest, you’re really very good at this.”
“Of course he likes you, you’re amazing!”
And whilst this might feel good for that fleeting moment, every time we do this, we’re actually giving our power away. This is a form of self-abandonment. If you step back from the situation, you can actually feel your energy moving into the other person, in an attempt to make yourself feel better.
It’s time to switch up that habit. Let’s turn these negatives into positives.
Instead of seeking external validation, you need to find that validation within yourself.
What you are expecting from others is what you need to be giving yourself – not once in a while but daily.
What if you told yourself the exact same words that you want to hear from others? Have you ever even tried doing that?
This can be a hard exercise. Maybe you didn’t have the best start in life, you weren’t taught how to speak nicely to yourself, or show yourself love. It’s not a bad thing to show yourself kindness, it’s a necessity and one that we must all learn.
When I work with my clients, one of the very first things I like to unpick with them is the pattern of negative self-talk.
Addressing this at the early stages of working together means that I can offer the right toolkit to help you, to reframe and rewire these negative habits with ease.
Here’s Thirty Daily Affirmations to get you started believing in yourself and the Universe!
Chat Soon x
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Copyright 2023 Parul sharma
I am a Soulful Confidence Coach on a mission to help ambitious, driven women unearth their limiting beliefs and step into their power. I work with women who are are ready to shatter their fears and self-doubt so they can express themselves confidently at work and in relationships.
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